What Doesn't Change
Combatting uncertainty with a list
What doesn’t change, or what can’t be taken away? Here’s an evolving list of things to (maybe) count on.
The human capacity to notice when sunlight hits the treetops and sets them aflame (as mentioned previously).
The disappearance of socks.
The dog and cat’s frenemy status.
The tendency of one item left on a surface to accumulate more.
The moon phases, the moon itself.
The sun tilt changing day length with predictable regularity.
The sun rising and setting.
The creative urge arising in a human.
The ingenuity and collaboration that can build bridges, literal and figurative.
The caring impulse, generosity, tender hearts.
A dog’s love.
The mysteries of the human body.
The way trees communicate via mycelial networks.
The way water persists simply by changing shape but always staying H2O.
The innocence of newborn babies.
The cat’s unerring ability to puke on the rug in an otherwise uncarpeted room.
Also, the cat’s constant need to open doors at will, even if just to stand there looking into the room.
All the thinking, overthinking, worrying, planning, ruminating: It’s just what brains do!
The cleansing power of tears.
The way warm water can soothe, down to the bone.
Seeds turn into plants that flower and make more seeds.
Books as portals.
Music, its transportive qualities.
The adorableness of canine limbs and lips twitching in sleep.
Ditto feline whiskers.
The breeze, the wind, air movement.
Sky, everchanging but always there.
The big questions, unsolvable but worth asking.
Soul, the big Self, something beyond the body, mysterious but undeniable.
Stories. The human need for them.
If you can think of other things to add to the list, please post in the comments!
Practice Space
Cynicism is easy. Hope is harder.
In one of those between-sleep-and-waking states, something came to me as a bodily knowing. It was the realization, the felt sense that cynicism is not my path. That it is a type of violence, the gateway to contempt. Which is justification for all kinds of ill deeds.
I’m observing rampant dehumanization, and thinking: That which we do to others, we do to ourselves. I want to meet my humanity and others’, and contribute to some healing, whatever that looks like. I think it starts with being just a tiny bit braver with eye contact, smiles, small gestures, moments shared, and then moves from there.
As tempting as it is, cynicism only perpetuates disconnection. It does nothing to mend the world.
Savorings
A literal savoring this time. The farmers market vendor who makes sauerkraut also makes a kickass gluten-free chex mix. I have discovered the absolute joy of a homemade dairy-free milkshake with sunflower butter and this chex mix smooshed in. The sweet, the salty, the creamy, the crunchy, all in one delicious treat.
(Maybe my “practice space” should center around not overindulging during this festive time of year.)
Resourcing
It’s due back at the library with multiple hold requests, but I’m partway through a book recommended to me by a writer friend. The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion, by Jonathan Haidt, starts with a scientific look at the mechanism of moral reasoning.
It turns out that we don’t think our way rationally into our beliefs. In fact, there are subtle and instantaneous judgments happening all the time. After the fact, we reason our way into justifying these intuitions. Haidt gets into confirmation bias and how hard it is to challenge our own thinking.
In later chapters (haven’t gotten there yet—must put the book back on hold after returning!) I hope he explores how to reach across the divide. He’s hinted at it so far: When someone presents a challenge to another’s beliefs, it makes a huge difference if there’s a relationship in place. What sways someone most seems to be…how much they like the person offering the counterargument. (Clearly this disqualifies the shaming tone of all those online interactions among relative strangers.)
I’m reminded once again of Van Jones, who seeks some shared humanness in every conversation, no matter how deep the chasm. He tries to exude genuine interest and liking for his adversaries. A hard thing for most of us to do.
(Note: I myself am not a CNN watcher and can’t comment on how successful or unsuccessful he is with this intent, but I love that he tries.)
Bonus resource: This one is for the heart, since the above book is for the brain. If ever you feel cynical, watch the kids of PS 22 put their hearts into singing. Many thanks to Doreen, my sister sage warrior, for sending this my way.
Shining with good energy, fun, and love beating cynicism. It is good. And thank you, your words give us a choice to head optimistically into the new year.
PS Number 16 is also true of certain small canine breeds living in our home. Really unfortunate.
That I will give up sugar and fall off the wagon, rinse and repeat.